一个女人的奋斗

寂静。医院里一片死寂。
子宫强烈地收缩着，一阵一阵摧心的痛毫不留情地席卷而来。肉骨分离的滋味不管经历了多少次仍然足以让人痛得死去活来。世上所有妈妈都是伟大的，分娩是一件多么神圣的任务呀！手掌来回抚摸着鼓起的肚子里的小生命，仿佛在安慰一位迫不及待想看看这世界的小不点。他这么强烈地挣扎，到底是因为实在太心急了，还是在抗议在自己将降临到这世界的一刻竟然是孤独一人的，没有爸爸的陪伴，也没有亲戚的祝福，她真的不懂，也害怕知道。
她已忘记自己是如何只身一人开车来到中央医院的，只知道在她最软弱无助时却是孤单一人，默默忍受分娩前的阵痛，保持着仅存的清醒意识，为了肚子里的生命而来到了这里。她也不懂自己是几时被送进手术市的，只能深刻地感受到骨盆的裂开和下半身撕心裂肺的痛，那种让人宁愿下地狱也不想经历的痛，却是世上最原始的痛。
不知过了多久，她努力地睁开眼睛，试图压制身体隐约传来的痛觉，只为第一眼能看见自己怀胎十月的新生命。熟睡的脸孔、白皙的肌肤、长长的睫毛以及彤红的脸颊，护士小姐早已将宝宝清洗完毕并包好了，如今宝宝安稳地躺在妈妈的怀抱里，他是那么的天真无暇，与世无争。妈妈凝视着他甜美的睡脸，无比庆幸当初自己终于放弃了打胎的年头。此刻的她，心里是无比幸福，却万般无奈。失望和灰心始终啃噬着她看似坚强的心。一个普通女子的心。
她看着宝宝的脸孔，他是那么的纯洁，仿佛天使般温暖了妈妈的心。于是，她的心燃起了一丝小小的希望和憧憬，拖曳着疲累不堪的身子，强忍着刚生产完毕的痛，她一拐一拐地走向邻近的公共电话。拿出身上仅有的零钱，她犹疑了。然而，一想起宝宝的睡脸，她仿佛被注入了一支强心剂。迅速按了那熟悉的电话号码，嘟嘟的声音响起。
她期待什么呢？那个男人的关心、慰问还是爱呢？她不敢奢望，更害怕知道。
“什么事？”日思夜思的声音在耳旁响起。他是那么的近，可是两颗心已是那么的远。
“我在医院…”她不懂自己该如何说起：该说“你又当爸爸了”？还是，“我为你生了多一个儿子，长的好可爱，好像你。”呢？
… …
“搞定了吗？”简简单单，明明白白的四个字。没有多余的罗嗦地从他口中说出来。
沉默。
她已满目仓夷的心仿佛被人狠狠的用锤子敲碎。失望，痛心，绝望，她的心再次死去。
挂上电话，她缓缓的走回病房。她小心呵护着宝宝，绝不让自己的情绪牵连宝宝。终于她也累了，目送护士将宝宝带去婴儿室。她总算可以卸下面具，休息一会儿了。那一夜，她彻夜失眠，一整夜都无法控制的低声抽泣，因为她不想吵醒其他待产中的母亲。

Merry Christmas~~

Yesterday was Christmas eve,a lot of my friends & juniors are celebrating it so most of them request for morning shift ,only left me and hui lynn who are afternoon shift plus three staff nurses in our ward to look after 30 patients,afternoon shift it's ok for us la coz we're not celebrating christmas anywhere,but the worst part is only five of us to cover the whole ward is a bit too over, lucky the call bell is not that jammed..but somehow we're still very busy with observations , procedures & new admission as the ward is almost full.....anywhere thank god we manage to finish all on time


How was the Christmas eve spirit in KL like?I have no idea but i can imagine those malls with those nice christmas decoration packed with dozens of people?....as yesterday night around eight something when i glance out through the window in a patient's room,there was a heavy traffic jam along the Subang highway....the patient ask me if it's always jammed like this,..huhhuh,i dunno wor,never notice,maybe lar...

Didn't go out today coz i want to spring clean my room and of coz pack my things :),...that's what i always do before i go back...my dormmates all went for their holiday already .. only left me, so i have to clean the dorm also...

Glad that tomorrow is the last day for my first year...fast fast...

I'm going back soon :)

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to everyone!

Outings

Last few days spent most of my time shopping,coz friday was a public holiday & Saturday and Sunday didn't have class
...went to KLCC & spend the whole day there,entering every shop glancing at those interesting things ,but didn't bought anything coz those clothes are not my cup of tea...
...but then ate a lot of things lo...

Then the next day went to Sungei Wang with xin pei them ,we wanted to buy clothes for CNY
A lot of clothes,very cheap also, but then of course it's difficult to find a nice one that suits you...
I bought two dresses..ok ok la,i think i like it..
After that we ate lunch together at "Da Ren Can Ting",i first time eat there,but i think nothing's special,the chicken rice so small plate only,but cost only RM2.80 la,miss the chicken rice in Kuching , behind Hock Lee Centre which dad always bring us to....
Before went back i past by Pavillion,a lot of christmas decoration there so i took a few picture..
















What am i going to do this Christmas?
guess nothing..maybe cook some special things to eat...haha
Today first day posting in ENT ward..
..two more weeks to go...

Finals over

Today is the last day of our finals....for the theory part quite ok ,but for the clinical practice exam today,which is called OSCE...huhhhh,i know i did badly lo,my brain seems to be paralyzed the moment i enter the demo room :( Anywhere it's over already,so i don't want to think about it........

After our OSCE,our tutor Miss Lee came to our class and settle all the things with us,as this is the last time we'll see her for this semester dy,& we were so happy to know that tomorrow no need to come to class...so i quickly pack my things and went off to wangsa maju,my brother's place.....

Just came back from Jusco just now,a lot of shops are having big sale,some discounting up to 50% to 70% sale,coz now got the year end Megah sale carnival,and oh ya got the back to school promotion also......somemore Christmas is around the corner,i love looking at those Christmas decoration,it gives me a joyful feelings!

Finals

Just came back from class,yea i'm still having my final exam,sitting for the following subject:


1.Anatomy & Physiology
2.Pharmacology
3.Fundamental of Nursing
4.Microbiology & Parasitology
5.Surgical nursing
6.OSCE Practical

four papers down & still left the last two papers,which falls on next Monday and Wednesday..meaning this weekend no go out,boring weekend....Anyway, after exam ,can be free like a bird!

after exam ,continue my two weeks posting,then i'm back to Kuching!..one year is almost over,quite fast wor...now i know,if we look back :will realise time flies ;if look forward:we can only wish time will pass faster lo.....so,we shouldn't look forward??hahaz..

Exam makes me craves a lot...eat a lot recently,i think i gain enough dy,have to keep fit & healthy ar...i want go gym now :)